List for Baby

Thursday, January 10, 2013

My Irritations as a Pregnant Lady



1.) People who say "Having babies seems to be a trend these days"

Really? A trend? Funny, I thought people were having babies since, I don't know, THE BEGINNING OF EXISTENCE. Jared and I are not teenagers. I did not get knocked up. We are married and adults who thought long and hard about the decision to TRY to conceive. We did not get pregnant based of a trend. But when you are married, in love, have the time, love, and finances...You make babies. That's what people do. So stop being rude and make nonchalant remarks on "being trendy by having a baby". I'm really sorry you're my age and still living with mom and dad, no job, and still drinking, partying, and smoking pot and no direction in life. But I will never apologize for growing up and becoming an adult with a dream of having a family.

2.) People that don't understand my philosophy of parenting.
Photo: (Quote in poster from http://www.spiritofilithyia.com/primitive-disconnect-parenting/ By, Kathi) For some...not all...we hide ourselves in order to breastfeed our child. In public, around friends, perhaps around some family. But this is to respect the feelings of those who are uncomfortable with normal infant feeding. For some...not all...we choose to safely share our sleep with our nurslings. But, shhhhh! don't let anyone know, they will think we are endangering or spoiling or coddling our young. And for some....not all...we choose to wear and hold our babies. Keeping them close. We pick them up when they reach for us, cry for us, and any time they need us. But we have to ignore the well-meaning words from loved ones telling us we will create a spoiled and overly dependent being..."let that baby cry a little"..."don't you ever put that baby down?" Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, positively responding...inside of ourselves it seems right. We do it. Sometimes we keep it secret. Really though, we want to scream to the world how joyous and beautiful all of this is. How it feels so right. But what feels so right is just not normal in our modern day society. Not in this culture. Not in 2013. There are no whispers, dirty looks or any media hype on that baby left in the stroller (or in the bouncer, floor, crib) with a rolled blanket underneath the bottle in order for it to be propped...while mommy is doing something...more important. This is what is acceptable.? There is no shame in priding ones accomplishment with forcing independence on a baby or child, explaining how it took just one hour of torturous crying screams everyday for a week. "It worked". So it's okay.? This is whats acceptable.? The list could go on and on, but it will have to end here. It is pretty sad how disconnected our society really is. People really believe it is for the well-being of our children to keep them at a distance when they are so young. So they can grow up to be prepared for the reality of the world. So it's less work and easier for the parents. Ever think just how hard it is for babies and children? Maybe just maybe, if we changed our views on how we care for our little human beings and realize or accept what is biologically normal for them (and for us) as parents...they could grow up to be prepared for a new kind of reality in the world. A world filled with lots more Compassion. Patience. Love. Peace.
I'm sorry that I don't find formula feeding, the CIO method, spanking, strollers, and all the modern ways of parenting okay for myself and my child.
Yes, I LOVE the idea to breast feeding. Nothing compares to it's bonding and nutrition value. I'm not sorry I rather understand why my child is crying verses letting them cry alone. Your child cries because THEY NEED you or something from you. Babies do not know manipulation. They are crying for a reason. It's MY OPINION that the "cry it out method" is absolutely fucking cruel.
   And I'm really not sorry for wanting to use attachment parenting rather than trying to push my child away from me at the age of birth. I want the bond, and closeness to my child. I will be wearing my baby. I will be comforting my child. It's natural. Not weird. Strollers are weird.
   I am not sorry for wanting to practice co sleeping for the first few months of my childs life. My child only know my heartbeat, my comfort, my body as a source of relaxation. I will not be throwing my child alone in a crib and allowing my child to comfort him/herself. IN MY OPINION, that's fucking cruel.


3.) Unsolicited advice.

Fucking stop it. Don't try to sway my views because they are different from your ways of parenting.
I will be breastfeeding. I will never allow formula to touch my childs lips. Whether it's my own breastmilk or breast milk from a milk bank.. I will never put formula around my children.
I will be cloth diapering and using cloth wipes. I will never allow chemical filled disposables near my childs genitals and skin. Whether it's prefolds or AIO's. It's my choice as a mother to use organic natural fibers for my child.
I will be practicing attachment parenting. I will put my child in a sling/wrap/carrier verses a stroller anyday. It's my choice as a mother to have a close bond with my baby and have that skin to skin contact as a newborn. Don't question me as a mother on why I'm not particularly thrilled about buying a stroller. My choice. Not something you need to advise me on.
I will be having a drug free labor and gentle birth in a water tub. It's my choice not to fill my body with drugs that can harm my child. It's my choice not to have birth in a hospital. Hospitals are for sick people. I am not sick. I am a woman that has a body that's solely designed to birth a child. I will birth my child in water. My child will not drown so please stop asking that. I will be delaying cord clamping till my placenta is birthed. I will opted out on many modern medical interference with my child as I feel that skin to skin contact is the upt most important. It's my body. It's my labor.

Do you really believe that all of a sudden in the last 50 years of humanity, women can’t birth their babies on their own without medicine to induce labor?

Love this. So many woman do not research anything when it comes to what's going into your body during labor.

Stop telling me that because of the choices I've made, I'm going to be unnecessarily tired, overwhelmed, and  that my choices are weird and pointless. Just because YOU decided to follow the modern way to parent.. doesn't mean my natural instincts as a mother are wrong.

One thing that I want to clear the air on, I did NOT get pregnant on accident. This was a planned pregnancy. Therefore, I've done extensive research through talking to people, looking online, buying books, etc. My plans are well thought out. My beliefs are well established. So stop with the comments. Stop with the unsolicited advice. Because I guarantee you, I can only be nice for so long before I start telling some of you to shut the fuck up.

I'm confident. Not overwhelmed. I'm at peace with my life and happy. You may not have been confident with your decisions but my husband and I are on the exact page with everything. Their is no war here about this child.

Let It Be.
-Carly
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